For more than 3 years, the Performance Catalyst team has been meeting monthly for Wine & Wisdom evenings. We take turns to pick any topic which we are curious about. We kick off the evening with a delicious meal – usually cooked by Lindi. With a bottle of wine, or three, we discuss the topic, often into the small hours. We have had over 30 exhilarating and thought-provoking Wine & Wisdom evenings so far. There is a lot to be said about the team-building power of gathering around a kitchen table!
Between us, we cover very different perspectives, and that is exactly what makes these evenings so interesting and rewarding for us. Our team is made up of an ex-professional cricketer (Will), an ex-physiotherapist from South-Africa (Lindi), an ex-academic and writer from Germany (Anna) and a former educator and mentor (Nick). We were all called to coaching and facilitating as a second career. We have totally different backgrounds, personalities and styles. We often have fun teasing each other about our different preferences. We don’t necessarily always agree on politics but are deeply curious and open about what the others think – and why. In other words, we try to practise what we preach to our clients. Yesterday, we discussed the topic of fulfilment. Chat GPT – the spooky AI chat bot everybody is talking about – defines fulfilment as follows:
‘Fulfilment refers to a state of satisfaction or contentment that arises from achieving one’s goals, desires, or aspirations. It is the feeling of completeness and happiness that comes from living a fulfilling life. Fulfilment can be experienced in various aspects of life, such as career, relationships, personal growth, and spirituality. It involves having a sense of purpose and meaning in one’s life, and feeling a sense of accomplishment and joy in the things that one does. Fulfilment is a subjective and individual experience that varies from person to person, and it can change over time as one’s goals and aspirations evolve. Ultimately, fulfilment is about finding happiness and satisfaction in one’s life, and living in a way that aligns with one’s values and beliefs.’
This is a competent summary of what we already know about fulfilment. But the privilege and joy of being a messy human rather than a sterile chat bot is that we can be more creative, personal and exploratory in our discussion. We wondered about the following questions:
● What are the roles of quiet, steady contentment and intense, exhilarating joy in fulfilment?
● What is the right balance between hedonistic and eudaimonic pursuits? Is there a cultural bias against short-term pleasure-seeking? What’s the problem with predominantly hedonistic choices, and can too much long-termism also be detrimental to our happiness?
● What is the right focus on health, wealth and time across our lifespans? Is it good to ‘die with zero’, and to privilege experiences over wealth accumulation at some point in our lives?
● Can we ever reach a permanent end-state of fulfilment, or is it not wiser to think of fulfilment as an ongoing process, as a series of fulfilling activities we pursue? Is fulfilment a doing or a being state?
● How do we know what truly fulfils us? And what if what fulfils us changes over the course of our lives? Are the signs of fulfilment resonance and aliveness, or a calmer state of contentedness and gratitude?
● How can we best design our lives to allow for maximum fulfilment – in the form of fulfilling activities, fulfilling careers and fulfilling relationships, and a happy and healthy state of mind?
Of course we also talked about what fulfils us personally – helping others grow, develop and gain deeper self-knowledge was top of all our lists. And then we diverged. Some dream of lives on the beach, others of travels and new experiences, of developing skills, learning, spending time with family, growing and appreciating beauty and excellence. All of us cherish relationships and belonging as key ingredients of a fulfilling life.
What makes you feel fulfilled? And do you have enough of it in your life?